If you find yourself in a
hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown
around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is, but it's good to know what it was.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
return to internet humor page
|
