-
I can please only one
person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as
they go flying by.
I'm not just a gardener; I'm a Plant Manager.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell
everything you know.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
return to internet humor page
|
