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Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet
a stranger at a party and you think he's really
attractive, is it okay to come out directly and
ask him if he's married?
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends
to diminish as you get older? Charley Weaver:
My sense of decency.
Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top
of a mountain by the gods because he had given
something to man. What did he give us?
Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got
a sports shirt.
Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help"
and "Can't Get Enough"? George Gobel: I don't
know but it's coming from the next apartment.
Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do you tend
to gesture more or less with your hands while
you are talking?
Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older
question, Peter... and I'll give you a gesture
you'll never forget!
Peter Marshall: What are "dual purpose" cattle
good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde:
They give milk and cookies... but I don't
recommend the cookies!
Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying
unconscious in the street, should you do
anything?
George Goebel: I'd probably crawl around him I
guess.
Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear
leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too
easily.
Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to
grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during your first year?
Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too
busy growing strawberries!
Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to
discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is
politics. What is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Peter Marshall: Is there a weight limit for bags
on airline flights in this country? Charley
Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can
fly.
Peter Marshall: During a tornado, are you safer
in the bedroom or in the closet?
Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always
safe in the bedroom.
Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head
he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two
years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
afraid of the dark.
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is
there anything wrong with getting into the habit
of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies
in a litter to have more than one daddy?
Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!
Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour
guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does
that mean?
George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and
neglected part of your body - what is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly
isn't neglected!
Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great
Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he
trying to do?
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Peter Marshall: According to Movie Life
magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start
having babies soon, but her husband wants her
to wait a while. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of
town.
Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds,
and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's
The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they
asked the question.
Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer
period of time, your wife or your elephant?
Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who
is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver:
I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty
years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now
he says it was "one of the best things I
ever did." What was it?
Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed
that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? Charley Weaver: His feet.
Peter Marshall: If you're going to make a
parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.
Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?
Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
water.
Peter Marshall: You've been having trouble going
to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me
awake.
Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object
which he loves to cling to. Should you try to
break him of his habit?
Joan Rivers: Yes. It's daddy's turn.
Peter Marshall: When the Lone Ranger finished
with a case, he left something behind. What?
Paul Lynde: A masked baby.
Peter Marshall: True or false: Many people sleep
better in their street clothes than they do in
their pajamas.
Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos.
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