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PETER MARSHALL'S LIST OF FAVORITE 
ANSWERS FROM "HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"

Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. 

Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. 

Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt. 

Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"? George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment. 

Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter... and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget! 

Peter Marshall: What are "dual purpose" cattle good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies... but I don't recommend the cookies! 

Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?
George Goebel: I'd probably crawl around him I guess. 

Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 

Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries! 

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 

Peter Marshall: Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country? Charley Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can fly. 

Peter Marshall: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. 

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark. 

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. 

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army! 

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch! 

Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
George Goebel: Cattle crossing. 

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected! 

Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 

Peter Marshall: According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town. 

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question. 

Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 

Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. 

Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming. 

Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? Charley Weaver: His feet. 

Peter Marshall: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?
Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water. 

Peter Marshall: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. 

Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?
Joan Rivers: Yes. It's daddy's turn.

Peter Marshall: When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What?
Paul Lynde: A masked baby.

Peter Marshall: True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.
Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos.




 

 


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