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Washington - (AP) BUSH DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA
Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients.
Before an emergency joint
session of Congress yesterday, President Bush announced US
plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of
Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American
history, will provide the region with the critically needed
letters A, E, I, O and U, and is hoped to render countless
Bosnian names more pronounceable.
"For six years, we have
stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have
been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Bush
said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say
`Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some
vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to
lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."
The deployment, dubbed
Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for
early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv
and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130
transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of
"E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the
Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.
Citizens of Grzny and
Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "I do not
think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I
have six children and none of them has a name that is
understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Bush, please send
my poor, wretched family just one 'E' Please."
Said Sjlbvdnzv resident
Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be
George Humphries. This is my dream."
The airdrop represents the
largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since
1984. During the summer of that year, the United States
shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like
Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies
of L's, S's and T's.
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